What I Learned While Getting A Haircut

1. I cannot, in any way, visualize the difference between a quarter inch and a half inch.
2. "Phish" is pronounced "feee-sah"
3. Teen boys get haircuts in groups. Apparently. 
4. The above fact annoys the crap out of me, for unknown reasons. 
5. Small talk with strangers is tiresome.
6. I want to open a place where you can get your haircut in silence, where the hairstylists/barbers are prohibited from speaking.

What I Learned About Myself Today

1. That I haven't posted to this blog in 15 months. 
2. That it took me an embarrassingly long time to do that math.
3. I'll be hot for several minutes before realizing I have a hoodie on, and that said hoodie is removable.
4. I would be one hell of a commencement speaker.